Every now and then I get ridiculously inspired by something. Most times I have no idea why it’s happened–kind of like now. Maybe it was the Amanda Hocking book I read, maybe it was the trip to the used book store today and all the jackets I read, maybe it’s just life. But I get that itchy skin feeling where I just want to sit at my computer for hours and just write. It’s been a while since I just let myself sit and write. I know what you’re going to say- I’m a writer. Well, yes, I am. Unfortunately I don’t live a kind of life where writing can take precedence over other things. I’d love to write for a 9-5, but that’s just not how things are at the moment. Writing is stolen moments, five minutes here, a half an hour there. And then I feel like this, like there are so many words inside of me that are just bursting everywhere. I need to let them out, but there just isn’t enough time in the day and there are just too many obligations for me to fulfill.
Then I wonder. Isn’t this how you’re supposed to feel when you’re truly passionate about something? Would life suddenly fall into place if I was a full-time writer? Would the grass be greener, the sky bluer? Okay…I’m getting off track, but you get the point. What if writing is my thing. (Yeah, yeah, I know! I’m a writer. I got it.)
There are so many things that I love, (and I mean besides the obvious things like my family and friends,) music, books, nature, photography, dance, winterguard. But lately, nothing has quite done it for me. I don’t know if it’s the depression from winterguard season ending this weekend or just the stress of everything, but nothing has made me happier lately than writing. Now I know you’re probably looking back at my blog entries and shaking your head at how many times I complained about editing, or querying, or synopsising (hehe), but honestly, what is better than finishing a story? There is something so fulfilling about sharing your writing with the world.
It’s funny that there’s all this fear for publishing my work. I love to share my work, I guess I just don’t like to share it with people I think might rip it apart, people that might want me to change it. I’ve said before that all I want is someone to talk to about my books, and that still holds true. I’m the author you’ll see at book signings who can’t shut up.
Words, words, words, words. This is what my best friend Lana sings when she can’t remember the words of a song, but that’s what it’s like in my head all the time. There is so much waiting in the wings, so many stories I have yet to tell. I think this inspiration has led to another thing: hope.
Is it wrong to think that you just might get everything you’ve hoped for? Is it asking for trouble? Probably. Life has a great way of knocking you down just when you’ve finally brushed your knees off from the last disaster.
But still…I’m excited. I started writing my first novel in June 2009. I’ve written 5 complete manuscripts. Isn’t it about time I did something about that? Between the words, words, words, there’s been too many years, years, years. No more. This time I’m gonna let the inspiration win.